This story originally appeared in the Philippine Daily Inquirer on April 1, 2003.
I am a graduate of the University of the Philippines in Diliman, and a Tausug. My home? Jolo, Sulu. I love my race and am proud of it, but I am afraid to go back home.
I might have confused you with those jumbled pieces of information. But I hope to give you a picture of what I am getting through.
I have spent the last seven years of my life in Manila. My admission to UP set me off on a journey to a totally different world. I must admit that at first I was awed by how things were different here from back in my small and “shabby” hometown (the towering structures and skyscrapers of Metro Manila, for example). But instead of being discouraged by the reality of how life could be unfair to us Tausugs, this only intensified my desire to go back home after I got my degree and make a difference in the seemingly hopeless condition Sulu found itself in.
Sad to say, that feeling lasted barely four years. During my last days in college, I started to see things differently.
The last time I visited Jolo before my graduation, I began to see myself in the many jobless Tausugs who were graduates of good universities, people who had the noble intention of contributing what they learned to their beloved homeland but didn’t get the chance or the right break. I saw myself in the faceless workers who had specialized skills but were driven to do lowly jobs. I thought that even a UP graduate would not get a chance in this condition.
I saw acquaintances leaving Jolo for Manila to try their luck in the dog-eat-dog world of the metropolis. Many of my friends married very young because it seemed to be the only way out of their rotten situation. I didn’t want to fall into the same kind of life.
Then the idea hit me: Could this also be the reason war and violence continue to tear the place apart? Was this the reason many among my own people chose to take up arms and kill? Did they fear that their whole family might die of hunger?
I was convinced that it was not the so-called culture of violence that made rebels or criminals or terrorists of my fellow Tausugs, and most importantly that it was not Islam that made people kill and kidnap and do other despicable acts. It was poverty. Worse, the continuous war was making our people poorer and poorer.
I strongly believe that the government should address first the issue of poverty in Sulu before they set the Americans loose upon the Abu Sayyaf. Haven’t our officials thought that all this violence springs from an economic issue?
It is not that I don’t want the Abu Sayyaf eliminated. In fact, I will never forget what Sir Buddy and his family, Abu Sayyaf kidnap victims whom I happened to interview, went through in the hands of those monsters. Their account of how mercilessly the Abu Sayyaf beheaded and killed some of their companions who could not pay ransom is a nightmare that continues to haunt me. Neither can I forget the video clips showing the Abu Sayyaf beheading soldiers and other captives? I saw the full length video and I was devastated, especially when I heard them speak my language.
It’s not that I hate the military. My heart cries for the families of soldiers who die in battle. My dad is in the military, and I hate the fact that they are sacrificial pawns in this deadly game.
If you asked me six or seven years ago if I was for an all-out war in Mindanao, I would have said yes without hesitation. My way of thinking then was that the government had to kill the Abu Sayyaf and other lawless elements to stop violence in our place once and for all. Growing up amid all that blood and violence, I was becoming weary of it all. And I believed that it would not matter anymore to endure one more war if we could have peace in the end. But we have suffered enough and nothing happened.
I am still tired of wars and killings and violence and having to worry about my family back home all the time. But I think the government should stop turning Sulu into a slaughterhouse for unfortunate military men and civilians. Let us stop bringing misery to the families who lose their loved ones to bullets fired by both camps.
There is a better solution to all the insidious acts of the Abu Sayyaf terrorists. We must provide our people with the means to earn a living for themselves and their families and the chance to grow and progress. Then peace should follow in time.
If this solution fails, by all means let the government raze Sulu to the ground .
I am a graduate of UP Diliman and a Tausug. My home? Jolo, Sulu. I love my race and I am proud of it, but I am afraid to go back home because I might die. No, I am not afraid that the war might kill me. I am afraid to go back and die from poverty and starvation.
