this story appeared in the philippine daily inquirer on November 26, 1998.
It has been nine months now since I left the confines of my school, but the only things I can boast of are a resume that everybody seems to ignore and a diploma that makes me depressed every time I look at it. My daily routine consists of waking up, eating and then going back to sleep. It can be very tiring even if it involves no substantial amount of physical exertion of any kind. I leave my bed at around 11 in the morning, eat lunch, read the papers and go back to sleep. At night, I have dinner and watch cable television up to the wee hours of the morning. I have this crazy sleeping disorder, but I won’t dwell on that here. It’s a problem that deserves a whole new article, if you ask me. Anyway, I’m stuck in a rut and I have nothing to blame but my diminishing zeal to find my dream job. Those in my batch who, I think, inherited the greatest jinx in the universe never had it so bad.
We graduated right smack in the middle of the Asian crisis. The ones before us were lucky. Their batch basked in a prosperous economy as almost every Asian country chalked up impressive rates of growth. They were launched at a time when getting a job was as easy as cooking oatmeal. My batch crash-landed at a time when many corporations are either closing shop, freezing the hiring of new employees or laying off people whose services are deemed expendable. Uncertainty is everywhere and those who are looking for employment are the first to suffer.
Many of my friends are in the same state of joblessness as I am. They have come to expect rejection that they look like veritable zombies when they apply for a job. In fact, we’re all convinced that landing a job today depends heavily on three things: clan connections, courage and the classifieds. It is these three elements that determine the possibility of employment. Using one’s clan connections is considered by everyone among my friends as very dishonorable. This can be a very easy way of getting a job if a parent, sibling, aunt, uncle or grandparent is someone big in a company. Any of these relatives can make the human resources department bend to his will to make a clansman eligible regardless of his intelligence or qualifications. This method is foolproof.
The only problem is that you can’t easily get away from the job the moment a better opportunity comes along. Such a rash action would make the connection you used lose his face. The second method requires courage and mechanical precision. It is called the blitzkrieg. Here, you pick a company that you would like to work for, get the name of the HRD head and attack.
But there are two obstacles here that one must be wary of. They are called ”the gatekeepers.” The first is the company guard who at times can be very arrogant. The trick here is to use heavy English when he asks what is your business. Some guards tend to soften their tough demeanor when they can’t understand a thing of what you’re saying. The second gatekeeper is the receptionist, usually a female and frequently the snotty type. Using highfalutin words might work, but I strongly advise against it. A receptionist can make you wait for eternity if you come on too strong. But if you are lucky to finally meet the HRD head, you must impress him at all costs. Bear in mind that the brief moment he has allotted to entertaining you will never come again. And always have your resume, transcript of records and your best 2×2 picture at hand. HRD managers always ask for these documents. If by the grace of God, you are scheduled for an interview, well and good. But if they say that they’ll just ”contact” you, then move on. The statement saying, ”We’ll just call you” is just a euphemism for ”We are not interested” or ”You don’t qualify.” Believe me. I know. The third method of trying to land a job involves reading the classified ads. It is here where you could find a variety of opportunities.
The problem is that 90 percent of the ads you see border on offering false hope and crap all at the same time. One ad will say, you can easily earn P10,000 a month plus benefits A, B and C. You go to the indicated address and apply, only to discover that you get the 10 grand only if you can sell a thousand sets of encyclopedia, door to door. If there’s anything I’ve learned from looking for a job using the classifieds, it is never to believe the promised compensation figures. They are there just to get your attention. Then comes the qualifications. The words ”female,” ”must have job experience” and ”must be at least 22 years old” automatically disqualifies me. The condition ”must have job experience”’ also disqualifies all of my batchmates. It’s really a no-win situation for us. I had so much hope and enthusiasm when I graduated. My first priority then was to get the job of my dreams.
Now I’d settle for anything. Now I’m convinced that I’ve hit rock bottom. All I can do at the moment is to wait–wait for the right ad to come out in the newspapers, or for a clan connection to suddenly pop up, or for the name of an HRD manager to come up in my dreams. In fact, I wish all these things will happen. I also wish that the Asian economic crisis will come to an end. But then I suppose that would be asking too much, too soon.
