this story originally appeared in the philippine daily inquirer on February 5, 2005.
A FEW months ago, I accompanied my brother to Guam where he represented the Philippines in the World Bowling Youth Championships. I joined the parents and other supporters in cheering for our young bowlers who played very well while maintaining a certain class and camaraderie which the participants from other countries respected and envied. But it was there where I had a most interesting and infuriating experience.
One day an old Filipino resident of Guam approached me to ask why an American was coaching our team. I explained that the American was actually our assistant coach and that the head coach was a Filipino. Not satisfied with my answer, he asked why our assistant coach should be an American. Did this mean no Filipino could handle the job? he demanded.
I was beginning to see what he was getting at, so I stopped myself from saying that the American was one of the best coaches anywhere in the world, and just said he was there because he could give us a different, a Western view of bowling.
Still looking unsatisfied, he asked me a question that at once incensed me. “Eh ikaw?” he said. “Hindi ka naman Pilipino ‘di ba(How about you? You are not a Filipino, are you)?” That question has continued ringing in my ears since that day.
That time though, I remembered the Filipino value of respecting one’s elders so I resisted the urge to tell him off and politely explained that I was born in the Philippines and I lived there.
His response was worse than his question: “Eh, hindi ba Chek-in ka?”
I was too stunned to answer him and I went back to cheering for our team. I wanted to understand what was wrong with the man. He saw me cheering for the Philippine team, and more importantly, he talked to me in Filipino. Yet, this man still considered me Chinese-and worse, “Chek-in”-and not Filipino.
I started to think about nationalism and what being a Filipino meant, and I realized how distorted his definition of being a Filipino was. For this man, and no doubt for many others here in the Philippines, the concept of a Chinese-Filipino and our community continue to be something mysterious and, sadly, gravely misunderstood. The mere term “Chek-in” or “Intsik” is an indication of that, since they are considered as insults by some Chinese-Filipinos.
I had an interesting visit to a friend’s house once. Upon my arrival, my friend’s mother greeted me with a warm smile but she did not speak to me. I later found out from my friend that his mother asked him discreetly if I could speak Filipino. We both had a good laugh over that, but I also had to shake my head over her misgivings.
For the record, I can speak English, Filipino and Chinese. Like most Chinese-Filipinos, I can speak English and Filipino fluently but struggle to speak fluent Chinese at times. Also, for the record, I do not enjoy chicken feet and the black and pungent “sibut” soup. Moreover, not all Chinese-Filipinos are good at math. I almost flunked my high school math and I had to take a remedial course on the subject when I went to college. Furthermore, I am a devout Catholic. Buddha is somebody I studied about in college, not somebody I pray to. Lastly, if a war breaks out between China and the Philippines, I will fight with the Filipino people. I have no connections to China. I feel no loyalty for that country as I consider it a foreign land.
Don’t get me wrong. I am proud of my Chinese heritage. In fact, I try to share the beauties of Chinese culture, like the moon cake festival and the Chinese New Year with my friends, but I am a Filipino and I make sure everyone knows that.
It was only lately that I realized why that man in Guam infuriated me so much. It was not that his questions betrayed his bigotry. What made me angry was how horribly imprecise his definition of being a Filipino was. Being a true Filipino is never about race. After all, being kayumanggi does not make one a Filipino. Malays, Thais and Indonesians are also sometimes kayumanggi. I had hoped that the first “Mano Po” film would have made this point clear.
A true Filipino is one who respects his elders and knows how to repay a debt of gratitude. He is one who respects the law and works hard to make the Philippines a better place to live in. He is one who, at the end of the day, loves the Philippines and proudly proclaims himself to be a Filipino.
I am a typical Chinese-Filipino. I have Chinese blood. I have a light complexion and I have slits for eyes. I speak Chinese and I admit that I enjoy siomai and other dimsum items. Do these make me a non-Filipino? I beg to disagree. I love the Philippines and I am proud to be a Filipino.
Noypi ho ako, hindi Chek-in.
