this story originally appeared in the philippine daily inquirer on January 25, 2005.
AFTER HOPPING from one job to another, I always find myself wondering if this is new job is really the one I want. Fresh from college and after delivering that short graduation speech heard by a couple hundreds of fellow graduates and my very proud mommy and daddy, I plunged into job websites and newspaper classified ads job-hunting. Very much driven, I walked through the streets of Makati to nowhere, handing out my resumes to advertising, TV and radio companies. And not just any company, but the biggest in the industry, thinking that I would be able to get in without too many problems.
Too late did I realize that graduating with honors does not make me the blessed one, someone who would be welcomed with open arms. I am simply a nobody. I am just one among millions of fresh graduates who are looking for a decent job that can somehow be related to the degrees we earned in college.
After a few months of buying Sunday newspapers, frequent trips to an Internet caf‚ and just walking into the human resources departments of various firms, I became very much frustrated with my life and felt a bit more insecure every time I heard that a classmate had landed a job.
To keep myself busy, I grabbed the first job opportunity offered by a retail store in Cavite. I was hired as the store’s marketing assistant for the Cavite area. I was doing promotional activities, advertising collaterals and administrative work for the marketing head.
While there I told myself that that I am indeed prepared to live in the real world. Although I had a bruised ego, I worked hard and enjoyed my trips to the different Cavite branches of the store. Sometimes I did promo that required me to stay inside a booth and spin wheels to find out the gift items I would give away.
I encountered students who would play around the booth that make degrading remarks about how lowly a promo girl’s job must be. Little did they know that I graduated with honors from the very same school they were enrolled in.
But their words seemed to have an instant replay button inside my head. I was hurt a couple of times, until I realized that they didn’t know what they are talking about and that they haven’t had a taste yet of the real world.
To rub salt into an open wound, my former professors couldn’t hide their disappointment when they learned that I was working there despite the qualifications that I had. They didn’t know that I just wanted to begin living my life as I wanted to, without anyone telling me what I should do. I saw no need to try to live up to their expectations. I needed to prove to myself that I could deal with my own monsters, especially my fear that I would never be able to make it.
After a few months, my prayers were answered and I was employed by one of the country’s largest television companies. I was hired as a researcher. I did phone interviews and did background researches for the writers.
But after working for a month, I walked out. It was a dream job for most, especially for those who were just starting in the media industry like me. But maybe I had too much pride, so I couldn’t swallow the daily scolding and the pressure. It was not that the job wasn’t meant for me, I just wasn’t ripe for it.
I have been asked several times why I gave up the job, and I still grope for an answer. I left while some people were laughing boisterously and cursing endlessly a group of young starters like me. The experience still haunts me but the memory no longer hurts.
Then I was employed as an advertising and promotions specialist by a healthcare company. Most of what I know now I learned from my mentors there: hard work, patience, honesty, integrity, professionalism. I had my share of frustrations and failures but that did not stop me from dreaming and striving to fulfill those dreams. I met different kinds of people-mostly flawed and a few almost perfect, some real and others superficial. I worked with professionals, learned the tricks of the trade as well as how to protect myself from the vultures of the industry. I made a few friends and earned a lot of valuable experience.
Now my philosophy has changed dramatically. I am no longer driven solely by idealism. I have accepted realities and made changes in my attitude towards work and life. But I have maintained pride in work and retained my integrity.
In my little speech in 2002, I asked my fellow graduates to create their own reality. I followed my own advice and made my own reality. I may still struggle along the way but I am proud to say that I make my choices and stand by those choices.
Yes, I do live in a clammy boarding house and don’t have material things to flaunt. But I am made up of more than that, and so are you.
So take risks. Make choices. You only live once. Enjoy life.
We can create our own reality. Let us not be paralyzed by fear of failure and misplaced idealism. Let us do our best in everything we do. And let us never lose hope.
I have a job. And I have never enjoyed working as much as I do now. I may have doubts sometimes, but it’s part of life.
Restless. Confused. Idealistic. Impatient. Whatever. That’s what I am and that’s just what I want to be.
