This story originally appeared in the Philippine Daily Inquirer on January 24, 2008.
My sister Lala and my closest friends know how much I looked forward to being a mom. It was my biggest dream in life. I dreamt of having a healthy baby girl whom I would doll up and bring along to children’s parties, malls and out-of-town trips. I knew that being a mom would be the best role I would ever have and that I would enjoy it tremendously.
When Erin was born, I took great pleasure in taking care of her every need. Feeding, bathing, playing and putting her to sleep were my major activities for the two months I was on maternity leave. I relished every moment that I could be with her. Everything was perfect and going well—until the devastating news of Erin’s liver disease.
I still vividly remember the sharp pain I felt upon hearing the doctor tell us at around 10 a.m. on Aug. 14, 2006 that Erin had biliary atresia. But I believed in my heart that she would be normal and well after her first surgery.
How I sobbed on my husband Sonny’s shoulder the morning the doctors opened up our baby’s little body. I didn’t know how to move on after that. I was paralyzed with fear for our little angel.
Just as Sonny and I were starting to pick ourselves up and adjust to having a child with a serious medical condition, the disappointing news came that the first surgery was a failure and that a liver transplant would be necessary. We were utterly devastated for the second time. But, by God’s grace, we found strength again to move forward and prepared for a complicated and costly transplant.
We were readying ourselves for a living donor transplant in June this year when we were informed of the unexpected rejection of Erin’s case in Chang Gung Hospital Taiwan. This distressed us no end as it came at a time when Erin had to be confined in the hospital again, and every day her condition seemed to be deteriorating. She urgently needed a new liver. It was downhill from then on as we watched our princess suffer and get worse every day in the hospital. We had no clear plan on how to make her better.
While I was very close to throwing in the towel and drawing up a “survival plan” for Sonny and me in the event that the unthinkable happened, Sonny refused to give up. Among all of us in the family, he was the one who received the hardest blow as he was always the one whom the doctors would talk to after Erin’s scary episodes. The doctors have told him many times to prepare the family for Erin’s imminent passing.
Through all these, Sonny remained strong in faith and devoted himself to easing my pain over our daughter’s condition. He kept me going. Friends would often tell me that I didn’t look so stressed and problematic despite the ordeal we were going through. I can now say that this was all because of Sonny. He took extra good care of me the past three months.
Even during the most frightening moments, he made sure that we ate all our “hospital meals” together. He would always find a way to make me feel a little better, be it as simple as my favorite big breakfast meal from McDonald’s or a stroll in the mall to take my mind off our worries. He always made sure I wasn’t retreating into a corner to sulk alone. During those long days when Erin was having mysterious low-grade fevers in the hospital, he would stay up all night and monitor Erin’s vital signs, so I’d have the peace of mind to sleep soundly and rest.
I am truly amazed where my husband draws the energy and ability to come up with a funny joke or remark amid our darkest moments. He remained positive and pleasant all the time, yet he never gave me false hopes.
Through all the hopeless moments we experienced, the thought that “hindi pa na-zero si Sonny” in his entire life gave me strength. A part of me knew that as always, he would be able to come up with something to reverse our situation. True to form, he constantly searched for the best treatment for Erin. Doctors in Manila fondly called him “Dr. House” as he would diligently check and remember Erin’s latest lab results and even suggest a plan of action. When Erin’s red blood cells dropped continuously despite multiple transfusions, he did some research and came across a drug that could possibly help the production of red blood cells. He brought this up with Erin’s doctors and they agreed to give it a shot.
People tell me that I gave life to Erin for the second time by donating a part of my liver. I think it was Sonny who gave life to Erin this time around. It was he who made the trip to Singapore possible against all odds. He just would not accept that there were no more options to save his princess just because she might not survive the flight and the costs were intimidating. With only a few days to spare, he made all the arrangements to bring Erin to Singapore. He was certain that if Erin could be put on a plane to Singapore, she would have a good chance of surviving.
After the very tough ride we have been through, I am now enjoying every moment I have with our feisty little girl, feeding, bathing, playing and putting her to sleep. It’s like being a new mother all over again. I am living my dream now and Sonny made it happen.
Thank you, Lord, for this wonderful blessing.