Causes + Bosses

Joy-ride

this story originally appeared in the inquirer on September 24, 2002.

Since I was working with a start-up information technology company with deep resources, I never thought I would be a victim of the economic crunch. But I was. And you know what? Life since I lost my job has been an exciting joy-ride!

It’s been a month or so since I and 19 friends received the memo from our chief executive officer. “For the past two years, the company has been experiencing losses,” the memo began. I didn’t have the heart to read what followed.

Suddenly, a cornucopia of emotions surged through my system. Anger. Relief. Excitement. Fear. I blinked, exhaled slowly and focused on what Tricia, who was from our human resources department, was telling us. Nothing entered my head. All I saw were visions of me torturing our witch of a CEO.

How could she do this to us? I kept asking myself. We built this company from nothing. We spent long nights and gimmick-less weekends in the office without overtime pay to make sure the project met the deadline. We toiled and labored, hoping that she would notice and appreciate the time, the love, and the sleepless hours that went into every site.

All 40 employees of the company were seething with anger. It was a good thing she went on vacation in some far-flung island with her friends that day. We could’ve killed her instantly.

After the anger came the withdrawal symptoms. It was difficult to let go of the routine of work. I missed my cubicle, my officemates and the lunches we had outside the office.

Although I hated my job, it is hard not to feel worthless every idle day. Having to watch those annoying Sex Bomb dancers while eating my breakfast or lunch is, of course, an altogether different story. It scares me just thinking about what to do next with my life. Taking a new career path sounds tempting, but how and where do I start? And what if I fail? Where will I go next? Fear, I have come to realize, is so powerful an emotion that it can consume your dreams and con you into thinking that you have no choice but to trudge the road you took-no shortcuts, no U-turns.

Moved by my craving for revenge and the credit card bills piled on my desk, I decided to conquer fear. It had stolen two years of my life already. And although I had no regrets taking that road, I vowed to make this humbling experience the best thing that ever happened to me.

So far, it has been that. One of my first post-retrenchment afternoons was spent at a Starbucks table in the company of a good book and my trustworthy Palm Pilot. From inside the cool coffee shop, amid the businessmen’s coffee-break banter, everything was perfect. It was the kind of day that reminded me of high school dismissal, the kind of day that used to make me sorry I was inside the office. The sun smiled as the leaves of the tree nearby danced in the soft, cool breeze. I heard the faint shouts of glee of the children playing across the street. I sipped my hot Refresh tea and instantly felt my muscles relax. Ahh, the simple joys we miss as we work our way to the top of the corporate ladder.

The time after being retrenched, I realized, is the best for taking stock of your life, rediscovering your passion, and beginning anew. After all, you got a consolation prize called severance pay to pay for that ballooning cellphone bills in the next few months. Retrenchment taught me to abandon the rat race. It made me realize that a fat paycheck never justifies doing a job I hate. It taught me to trust. It opened my eyes to the many opportunities that await me. A new job. A new field. My own business, maybe. My heart raced with excitement.

Despite the recurring fear about my finances running low, I can’t help but smile. I was given a chance to take a new path and search for my personal legend. That, after all, is what life is all about: the discovery and pursuit of one’s meaning and purpose.

Retrenchment is a reality many people can’t escape. It is devastating, but it isn’t all that bad either. As in everything, it is just a matter of attitude. I spent two years following the road that led to nowhere. What’s another month or two spent in post-retrenchment bliss and making sure that this time I will choose the right path?

R.K.R.

R.K.R., 24, does freelance web programming work. She asked to be allowed to use her initials so she won't get into trouble with her past employer.

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Back to top button